The Veracity of Conflict
July 29, 2008 7:32 pm Blogs
Conflict. When I was in high school, over 12 years ago now, one of my favorite bands was Conflict. Conflict was a punk band from the UK who stood for anarchy, autonomy, and nihilism. This was back before flat irons and hot topic. Liberty spikes were made with glue, a hand held iron and an ironing board. You couldn’t buy belts or bracelets with spikes in them, so we took leather belts and hammered them in there with blood and sweat. It was good times. As I’ve grown older I’ve realized that conflict isn’t just a band but something human beings are constantly caught up in.
When faced with conflict people tend to do one of two things, fight or flight. They either engage and let the fists start flying whether they be verbal or physical. Or they internalize and shut down and essentially run away. Neither of these options are good for the Christian person, whether it is interpersonal discord between two individuals or whether it is the clashing of ideas.
First the interpersonal. The Bible is clear that Christians are to love. We love our God and we love our neighbor. When conflict arises, and it always does, to either fight or flight is not love. So what are you to do when faced with conflict? There are four main things the Bible calls for in conflict:
1. THE METHOD - You go to the person and talk to them one on one, “alone” (Mt 18:15-20).
2. THE GOAL - When you go to the person, you go with a goal of restoring them with a “spirit of gentleness” (Gal 6:1).
3. THE WORDS - While talking to the person you “speak the truth in love” (Eph 4:15).”
4. THE RESPONSE - Regardless of how they respond, you are to be “kind, tenderhearted and forgiving toward them” (Eph 4:32).
Second the clashing of ideas. The Bible is clear that there is in fact truth and Christians are to know the truth. When conflict concerning what is true arises how are you to know if one position is correct and what position that is? What if there are two or more “scholars” who disagree? Four guidelines help us in this task.
1. TRUTH - There is one true and right position on all matters, God’s (Rom 3:4).
2. FALSEHOOD - All untrue positions on all matters are of the devil (Jn 8:8).
3. CERTAINTY - God desires for us to know the truth (1 Tim 2:4).
4. SOURCE - God’s Word is the truth (Jn 17:17).
Whether conflict occurs because of something happening in a relationship or over an idea or a mix of both, the way we are to deal with it is the same. We are to care for the person more than we care about the issue of conflict. We are to take positions on everything the Bible speaks and not allow ourselves to only believe things which the devil does not stir up conflict over.
Conflict occurs in our lives because we are sinful group of people who often do stupid things, think stupid things, or stupidly communicate good things. The easy ways out are either exploding into fight mode or retracting into flight mode. Christians have a new way to handle conflict. With love and confidence. It isn’t easy, it takes time, it takes work, and it take guts both when working with a person and/or an idea.
May God help us as a church we strive to grow up in true biblical belief and love toward one another and all who are not yet a part of us.
- Pastor Duane